"On the one hand, we'll never experience
childbirth. On the other hand, we
can open all our own jars."
Bruce Willis (On the difference between men and women)
"Luge strategy? Lie flat and try not to die."
Carmen Boyle (Olympic Luge Gold Medal winner - 1996)
"There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane Either
you have diarrhea, or you're eager to meet people who do."
Henry Kissenger (former US Secretary of State)
"My cousin just died. He was only 19. He got stung by a bee-the natural
enemy of a tightrope walker."
Dan Rather (News anchorman)
"I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, 'Thyroid
"I read somewhere that 77 per cent of all the mentally ill live in poverty.
Actually, I'm more intrigued by the 23 per cent who are apparently doing
quite well for themselves."
Jerry Garcia (Grateful Dead)
"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like
and just give her a house."