As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection.
A thick slab of ham, a fresh bun,
crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive, light brown, gourmet mustard. The
corners of my jaw ached in anticipation. I carried it to the picnic table
our backyard, picked it up with both hands but was stopped by my wife
suddenly at my side. "Hold Johnny (our six-week-old son) while I get my
sandwich," she said.
I had him balanced between my left elbow and shoulder and was
again for the ham sandwich when I noticed a streak of mustard on my
I love mustard. I had no napkin. I licked it off. It was not
No man ever put a baby down faster. It was the first and only time
have sprinted with my tongue protruding. With a washcloth in each hand, I
did the sort of routine shoeshine boys do, only I did it on my
Later my wife said, "Now you know why they call that mustard