Warning Signs

 

 


On a cardboard windshield sun shade: "Warning: Do Not Drive With
Sun Shield in Place"
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On an infant's bathtub: Do not throw baby out with bath water.
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On a package of Fisherman's Friend(R) throat lozenges: Not meant as
a substitute for human companionship.
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On a Magic 8 Ball: Not advised for use as a home pregnancy test.
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On a roll of Life Savers: Not for use as a flotation device.
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On a cup of McDonald's coffee: Allow to cool before applying to
groin area.
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On a refrigerator: Refrigerate after opening.
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On a disposable razor: Do not use this product during an earthquake.
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On a handgun: Not recommended for use as a nutcracker.
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On pantyhose: Not to be used in the commission of a felony.
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On a piano: Harmful or fatal if swallowed.
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On a can of Fix-a-Flat: Not to be used for breast augmentation.
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On a Pentium chip: If this product exhibits errors, the
manufacturer will replace it for a $2-shipping and a $3-handling
charge, for a total of $4.97.
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On work gloves: For best results, do not leave at crime scene.
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On a palm sander: Not to be used to sand palms.
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On a calendar: Use of term "Sunday" for reference only. No
meteorological warranties express or implied.
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On Odor Eaters: Do not eat.
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On a blender: Not for use as an aquarium.
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On syrup of ipecac: Caution: May cause vomiting.
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On a revolving door: Passenger compartments for individual use only.
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On a microscope: Objects are smaller and less alarming than they appear.
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On children's alphabet blocks: Letters may be used to construct
words, phrases and sentences that may be deemed offensive.