Of This And That #2

 

 


The boss came early in the morning one day and found his manager
kissing his secretary. He shouted at him, "Is this what I pay you for?"
The manager replied: "No, sir, this I do free of charge."
*

A wife, one evening, drew her husband's attention to the couple next door
and said, "Do you see that couple? How devoted they are?
He kisses her every time they meet. Why don't you do that?"
"I would love to," replied the husband, "but I don't know her well
enough."
*

A priest, seeing a blank signboard hanging on a lamppost wrote upon it:
"I pray for all."
A Solicitor wrote underneath: "I plead for all."
A doctor added: "I prescribe for all."
A simple citizen wrote: "I pay for all."
*

Wife : you delivered an excellent speech.
Hubby : Thanks dear, but the audience was full of fools & idiots.
Wife : Is that why you addressed them as your brothers & sisters?
*

After a dinner speech, the speaker scolded his secretary:
"Why did you write such a long speech for me? You saw how those
people were feeling bored!" The secretary replied, "Sir, it wasn't a
lengthy speech at all; but I did make one mistake- I gave you all 3
copies of the speech."
*

A Rotary visitor to Japan told a joke lasting 2 minutes.
The interpreter then translated using only a few words. Everyone
laughed. Afterwards the visitor asked the interpreter how he
translated such a long joke so quickly. "Well, I didn't think
they would get the point, so I said, "Our guest has just told
a joke. Everyone please laugh."
*

A man with a banana stuck in his ear and a green bean stuffed up
each nostril walks into the doctor's office.
The doctor looks at him and asks what he can do for him.
"Doctor, I just haven't been feeling well lately."
"Well, I can see you are not eating right.