Wisdom From Seniors

 

 


When did my wild oats turn to prunes and all bran?
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I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart.
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Funny, I don't remember being absent minded.
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All reports are in. Life is now officially unfair.
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If all is not lost, where is it?
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It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
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The first rule of holes: if you are in one, stop digging.
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I tried to get a life once, But they told me they were out of stock.
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I went to school to become a wit, only got halfway though.
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It was so different before everything changed.
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Some day's you're the dog, and some day's you're the hydrant.
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Nostalgia isn't what it use to be.
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Old programmers never die. They just terminate and stay resident.
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A day without sunshine is like a day in Seattle.
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I wish the buck stopped here! I could use a few.
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Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat cause
kids.
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It's not the pace of life that concerns me, it's the sudden stop at the end.
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It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
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Living on Earth is expensive, But it does include a trip around the sun.
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The only time the world beats a path to your door is if your in the bathroom.
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If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would have put them on my knees.
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Never knock on death's door, ring the bell and run (he hates that).
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Lead me not into temptation (I can find the way myself).
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When you are finally holding all the cards, why does everyone else
decide to play chess.
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If you are living on the edge, make sure your wearing your seatbelt.
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There are two kinds of pedestrians. The quick and the dead.
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An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
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A closed mouth gathers no feet.
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Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
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Its not hard to meet expenses; they are everywhere.
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Jury: Twelve people who determine which client has the better attorney.
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The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.