Bits and Pieces #2

 

 


30. Sorry, but my karma just ran over your dogma.

31. Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent
revolution inevitable. -- John F. Kennedy

32. Life may have no meaning. Or even worse, it may have a meaning
of which I disapprove. -- Ashleigh Brilliant

33. My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
-- Ashleigh Brilliant

34. Her kisses left something to be desired -- the rest of her.

35. Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.

36. Always try to do things in chronological order; it's less
confusing that way.

37. Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you
think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today? 1.
Writing his memoirs of the Civil War. 2. Advising the president.
3. Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin. -- David
Letterman

38. Once at a social gathering, Gladstone said to Disraeli, "I
predict, sir, that you will die either by hanging or of some vile
disease." Disraeli replied, "That all depends, sir, upon whether
I embrace your principles or your mistress."

39. For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow
but phone calls taper off. -- Johnny Carson

40. I think the team that wins game five will win the series. Unless
we lose game five. -- Charles Barkley

41. My initial response was to sue her for defamation of character,
but then I realized that I had no character. -- Charles Barkley,
on hearing Tonya Harding proclaim herself "the Charles Barkley of
figure skating"

42. The most important thing in a programming language is the name.
A language will not succeed without a good name. I have recently
invented a very good name and now I am looking for a suitable
language. -- D. E. Knuth, 1967

43. A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when
you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in
what's left of your unit. -- In the August 1993 issue of PS
magazine (p. 9), the Army's magazine of preventive maintenance

44. An Animated Cartoon Theology:
1. People are animals.
2. The body is mortal and subject to incredible pain..
3. Life is antagonistic to the living..
4. The flesh can be sawed, crushed, frozen, stretched, burned,
bombed, and plucked for music..
5. The dumb are abused by the smart and the smart destroyed by
their own cunning..
6. The small are tortured by the large and the large destroyed by
their own momentum..
7. We are able to walk on air, but only as long as our illusion
supports us..
-- E. L. Doctorow in The Book of Daniel

45. Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of
Congress. But I repeat myself. -- Mark Twain

46. Calvin: People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but
they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots
in the world. Hobbes: Isn't your pants' zipper supposed to be in
the front?

47. On one occasion a student burst into his office. "Professor
Stigler, I don't believe I deserve this 'F' you've given me." To
which Stigler replied, "I agree, but unfortunately it is the
lowest grade the university will allow me to award."

48. The overwhelming majority of people have more than the average
(mean) number of legs. -- E. Grebenik

49. Old Yiddish proverb: "If triangles had a G*d, He'd have three
sides." [We now know it should go: "If male triangles had a
G*d..." -psl]

50. Don't worry about temptation -- as you grow older, it starts
avoiding you. -- Old Farmer's Almanac

51. G: "If we do happen to step on a mine, sir, what do we do?" EB:
"Normal procedure, lieutenant, is to jump 200 feet in the air and
scatter oneself over a wide area." -- Somewhere in No Man's
Land, BA4

52. The mind is not a vessel to be filled but a fire to be kindled.
-- Plutarch

53. Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, "Where have I gone
wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more
than one night." -- Charlie Brown, "Peanuts"

54. The only difference between me and a madman is that I am not mad.
-- Salvador Dali

55. What a distressing contrast there is between the radiant
intelligence of the child and the feeble mentality of the average
adult. -- Sigmund Freud

56. I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to
anyone, but they've always worked for me. -- Hunter S. Thompson

57. Sacred cows make the best hamburger. -- Mark Twain

58. "Time's fun when you're having flies." -- Kermit the Frog