Clever Quotes #2

 

 


"I Don't Suffer from Insanity.... I'm a Carrier."
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"El Nino Made Me Do It."
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"The More I Learn About Women, the More I Love My Harley."
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"I'm Not 50. I'm $49.95 Plus Shipping & Handling."
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"You Who Think You Know It All Are Damn Annoying to Those of Us
Who Do."
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"I Am the Person Your Parents Warned You About."
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"The Two Most Common Elements in the Universe Are Hydrogen and
Stupidity."
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"I'm Not Getting Older....I'm Getting Meaner. "
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"That Was Zen; This Is Tao."
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"Fifty Is the Ultimate F-Word."
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"It IS As Bad As You Think, and They ARE Out to Get You."
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"I'm on a 30-Day Diet. So Far I've Lost 15 Days."
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"Why Is 'Abbreviation' Such a Long Word?"
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"There Are Three Kinds of People...... Those Who Can Count and Those
Who Can't."
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"Familiarity Breeds."
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"Proofread Carefully to See If You Any Words Out."
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"Your Kid May Be an Honor Student, But You're Still an idiot."
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"When You Do a Good Deed, Get a Receipt, in Case Heaven Is Like the IRS."
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"Sometimes I Fantasize That I'm Rich Enough to Be a Republican."
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"A Freudian Slip Is When You Say One Thing But Mean Your Mother."
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"Disregard Last T-Shirt."
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"I Do Whatever the Voices Tell Me to Do."
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"I'm Retired and This Is As Dressed Up As I'm Gonna Get."
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"Growing Old Is Mandatory... Growing Up Is Optional."
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"I'm Not 50--I'm 18 with 32 Years Experience."
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"Parents of Teenagers Know Why Animals Eat Their Young."
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"My Wife Says I Don't Listen to Her...Well?"
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"Over the Hill? What Hill? I Didn't See Any Hill!"
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"I'm Not Unemployed... I'm a Consultant."
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"Goodbye Tension... Hello Pension."