Clinton Goes to Heaven



Someday, a long time from now, President Clinton finishes his time on
earth and approaches the Pearly Gates of Heaven.
"And who might you be?" inquires St. Peter.

"It's me, Bill Clinton, formerly President of the United States and
Leader of the Free World."

"Oh....Mr. President! What may I do for you?" asks St. Peter.

"I'd like to come in," replies Clinton.

"Sure," says St. Peter. "But first you have to confess your sins.
What bad things have you done in your life?"

Clinton bites his lip and answers, "Well, I tried marijuana, but you
can't call it 'dope-smoking' because I didn't inhale. There were
inappropriate extra-marital relationships, but you can't call it
'adultery' because I didn't have full 'sexual relations.' And I made
some statements that were misleading, but legally accurate - you
can't call it 'bearing false witness' because, as far as I know, it
didn't meet the legal standard of perjury."

With that, St. Peter consults the Book of Life briefly, and declares,
"O.K. here's the deal. We'll send you somewhere hot, but we won't
call it Hell. You'll be there indefinitely, but we won't call it
'eternity', and when you enter, you don't have to 'abandon all hope',
just don't hold your breath waiting for it to freeze over.