Forrest Gump in Heaven



Forrest Gump died and went to Heaven. When he got to the pearly gates,
Saint Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances
in education on Earth. In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly
soul must answer three questions:

1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T."
2. How many seconds are in a year?
3. What is God's first name?

Forrest thought for a few minutes and answered, "The two days
of the week that begin with 'T' are 'Today' and 'Tomorrow.'
There are twelve seconds in a year.
And God has two first names; they are 'Andy' and 'Howard.'

Saint Peter said, "Okay, I'll buy Today and Tomorrow. Even
though it's not the answer I expected, your
answer is correct. But, how did you get twelve seconds in a
year, and why did you ever think that God's first
name is either Andy or Howard?

Forrest responded: Well, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, etc..."

"OK, I'll give you that one, too," said Saint Peter, "but what about the
God's first name stuff?"

Forrest said, "Well, from the song, 'Andy walks with me, Andy
talks with me, Andy tells me I am his own...' and the
prayer, 'Our Father, who art in Heaven, Howard be thy name...'
Saint Peter let him in without further discussion.