Duck Hunting



A lawyer went duck hunting in rural Oklahoma. He shot
and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the
other side of a fence.

As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer
drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.

The lawyer responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field,
and now I'm going to retrieve it."

The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and you are
not coming over here."

The indignant lawyer said, "I'm one of the best trial attorneys
in Oklahoma and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you
and take everything you own."

The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know
how we settle disputes in these parts of Oklahoma. We settle
small disagreements like this with the Okie Three Kick Rule."

The lawyer asked, "What's that?"

The farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my
land, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three
times and so on back and forth until someone gives up."

The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and
decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed
to abide by the local custom.

The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and
walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his
heavy steel-toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped
him to his knees. His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's
last meal gushing from his mouth.

The barrister was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to
his rear end sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.

The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get
to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said,
"Okay, you old coot. Now it's my turn."

The old farmer smiled and said, "Naw, I give up. You can
have the duck."