1. Juan Valdez named his donkey after
2. You grind your coffee beans in your
3. The only time you're standing still is during an
4. You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without
5. You lick your coffeepot clean.
6. You spend every vacation visiting "Maxwell
7. You're the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you
don't even work there.
8. Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
9. You're so jittery that people use your hands to blend their
10. You can jump-start your car without
11. All your kids are named "Joe."
12. Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet &
13. You go to AA meetings just for the free
14. You've built a miniature city out of little plastic
15. People get dizzy just watching you.
16. When you find a penny, you say, "Find a penny, pick it up.
Sixty-three more, I'll have a cup."
17. The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt
18. Starbucks owns the mortgage on your
19. You're so wired, you pick up FM
20. Your life's goal is to "amount to a hill of
21. Instant coffee takes too long.
22. When someone says. "How are you?", you say, "Good to the last
23. You want to be cremated just so you can spend the rest of
in a coffee can.
24. You go to sleep just so you can wake up and smell the
25. You're offended when people use the word "brew" to mean
26. You name your cats "Cream" and
27. You get drunk just so you can sober
28. Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping
29. You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
30. You don't even wait for the water to boil
31. You think being called a "drip" is a
32. You don't tan, you roast.
33. You can't even remember your second
34. You introduce your spouse as your
35. You think CPR stands for "Coffee Provides